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The ‘Are you beach body ready?’ advertising campaign backfired spectacularly earlier this week. Which just goes to show women are not as stupid, or as weight-obsessed, as we’re made out to be

Until last week, I had not, I must confess, heard of a certain chap by the name of Richard Staveley. But since then I have not been able to stop marvelling at him. For those of you still as ignorant of this man’s charms as I once was, I shall explain.

Richard Staveley is the head of marketing at a company I shall call Sludge Drinks, so as not to give those twonks any further publicity. Sludge Drinks is one of those companies that claims drinking liquidised gunk, instead of eating actual food, is an excellent way to lose weight – if you’re a woman, that is. Notably, the “weight loss” section on the home page of the company’s website is illustrated by a topless slim woman with “Sludge Drinks” written on her arse, like a branded piece of livestock. The “add muscle” section, on the other hand, is illustrated by a muscular man, his fist clenched tight with righteousness. Because women should be skinny and food-deprived, while men should be muscular and overloading on protein, just as God and Sludge Drinks intended.

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