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I’ve been drafted in to Operation Yellowhammer to help plan for no-deal Brexit. Billions are being spent – for what?

The real countdown has truly started. In Whitehall today, the clocks are striking 17 – the number of days left before we are due to leave the European Union. Tempers are running high. So too is the nation’s imagination – in the few weeks since my first article, the Brexit commentariat has created such a torrent of snarky metaphor – including many references to how terrified yet also strangely bored of Brexit we all are – that it feels like we’re being hit by a tsunami of tepid tapioca.

Related: Brexit: MPs to vote on May's deal after 'legally binding' changes – Politics live

Related: Once again, Theresa May tries to claim victory – but the EU has conceded next to nothing | Jonathan Freedland

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