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‘“Somebody’s after a laptop,” claims the ad. Oh really? Well why doesn’t Manchild go out and buy one then?’

Never leave a bloke alone with your electrical goods. That’s the lesson from the new Currys PC World ad, in which a manchild frames his dog for cocking his leg on his laptop in the hope that his more successful wife will buy him a new one. Why does Manchild need a new laptop? He only uses it to watch porn and email his boss to tell him he’s not coming in today. “Hey, I’m working from home, babe,” he murmured when his wife tried to rouse him for their usual power walk to the station. The minute she left the house, he kicked the dog off the bed and booted up a selection of “artistic” websites. That faux dog wee isn’t the first spillage that keyboard’s seen today.

The truth is it’s 6.45pm and he’s only just out of the shower. No need to use that herbal tea bag to brew up fake wee – that could easily be his own. “Sorry, mate,” he says to poor Benji the pug as he plonks him on the table next to the laptop. That’s loyalty for you – this is the same dog he napped with earlier after he pretended to get cut off from a conference call. His wife, back from her Proper Job, lets out a horrified gasp when she sees the soggy computer. Imagine how loudly she’d shriek if her hapless husband forgot to delete his browsing history? “No, darling, Ashley Madison is where I buy my shirts,” he’d whimper.

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