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The new Heineken advert makes a virtue of moderation. But don’t worry, beer still helps a guy get the girl

Heineken’s new ad is remarkable, in that it may be the first in history where the final shot is of the product it’s trying to sell being actively rejected. Unfortunately, everything else in it is depressingly familiar. The set-up: various telegenic women belt out “I need a hero” as they walk out on various drunk men in nightclubs and nightbuses. At the end, a guy – the “hero” they spoke of – turns down a small bottle of Heineken. I know, what a guy! The barmaid serving him is utterly transfixed as if to say: “A man who isn’t a half-asleep wino? This is the sexiest thing since Tom Jones’s musty gusset.” The ad may try to look super modern and enlightened by taking the point of view of empowered-looking women but, make no mistake, the message here, as always, is: “Lads, do this and get fit birds.”

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