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The athletics giant is trying to get people off their sofas in January by delivering a lecture from an aggressive robot. It’s not going to work

Yuck, here comes January: dark, joyless and dispiritingly cold, despite the globular rolls of fat you’ve accumulated round the middle after consuming nothing but Chocolate Oranges, stilton and Tia Maria over Chrimbo.

Is there a worse month to attempt a lifestyle reboot? While slimming down to sinew feels like an impossible dream, Nike has taken the hardbody ideal to heart, launching a global campaign that consists of nothing more than an automated female voice reading an accusatory tirade.

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